Confessions
March 31, 2018
Confessions
by St. Augustine
I read this during Lent. It opens with the well-known line, “You have made us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.” It closes with a complementary thought about eternal rest in Heaven: “For then shall You also rest in us, even as now You work in us.” So we rest in God (relying on Him), and He will rest in us (actively giving us rest).
Here are some quotes I noted while reading:
“I do what I don’t want to do…”:
Whence and why this monstrous state? The mind commands the body, and is immediately obeyed. The mind commands itself, and is opposed.
Good works are gifts of God:
Woe even to men who have led commendable lives if You were to judge them, setting aside Your mercy! ... Should someone attempt to compute his true merits before You, what else would he count except for Your gifts? (IX, 13)
Memory and emotions:
The memory contains likewise the passions and affections of my soul, not in the same manner as the soul has them when it experiences them... For when I am not joyful I can remember my former joy, and at a time when I am not sorrowful I can remember my past sorrows. I can reflect without fear upon my former fears, and I can remember my former desires without desiring. Sometimes, on the contrary, it is with joy that I remember my past sorrows and with sorrow that I remember my former joys. (IX, 14)
Why the truth brings forth hatred:
I have known many who are willing to deceive, but I have not known anyone who was willing to be deceived. ... But why does truth often bring forth hatred? Why did Your servant who preached the truth to men become their enemy, and yet they love a happy life which is nothing else but rejoicing in the truth? Simply because truth is so loved that those who love anything else would regard that to be the truth which they love. And because they are not willing to be deceived, they are not willing to be convinced that they were in error. ... They love the truth when it reveals itself, and they hate it when it reveals them. (X, 23)
Good works are a gift of God:
"I can do all things in Him who strengthens me." Such words are fitting for a soldier of the heavenly camp, and not of the dust that we are. ... Strengthen me that I also may be able to do all things. *Grant what You command, and command what You will.*
On singing and the emotions:
Occasionally I seem to allow them [the "pleasures of the ears"] more honor than is becoming, when I find my mind more religiously and ardently raised to a heightened devotion by those holy words when they are sung in that manner than when they are not... But this sensual pleasure, which should not be allowed to enervate the mind, often deceives me. For sense is not content to wait upon reason in such manner as to follow it patiently, but since it is only admitted for the mind's sake, it strives to run before it and lead it. Thus, in these things I sin without perceiving it, but afterward I am aware of it.
On self love:
There is yet within us another evil... While [people] please themselves, they very much displease You, by taking pride not only in things that are not good, as though they were good, but also in good things that are Yours as though they were their own... They known that they have received them from Your grace but begrudge others that grace and will not rejoice in it with them. (X, 39)
On love for the Scriptures:
And now, behold, I return, panting and gasping to Your fountain [the Scriptures]. Let no one forbid me. I shall drink of this fountain and so I shall live. Let me not continue to live as I have lived, for I acknowledge that I have lived badly. To myself I was death, and in You do I live again. Speak to me, discourse with me. I have believed Your books, and their words are full of mystery. (XII, 10)
On enduring nonsensical arguments:
But when [someone] says, "Moses did not mean what you say, but what I say," yet does not deny that what each of us says is true, then, O my God, O Life of the poor, in whose bosom there is no contradiction, rain down Your consolations into my heart so that I may patiently endure such talk. (XII, 25)
Not sure how I feel about this wording:
I called You into my soul, which You prepared for Your own reception by inspiring me with this desire. (XIII, 1)
To the apostle Paul:
Why are you so joyful, O great Paul? ... O tongue that is a flying bird, speaking mysterious things? For to such creatures is this food due. (XIII, 26)
Gifts vs. fruit:
A gift is the thing itself given by one who provides us with necessities such as money, food, drink, clothes, lodging, and assistance. But the fruit is the good and right will of the giver. ... [Now referring to Matt. 10:41-42:] The gift is to receive a prophet, to receive a just man, to give a cup of cold water to a disciple. The fruit is to do this in the name of a prophet, in the name of a just man, in the name of a disciple.
Hearing the voice of God:
To this You replied that You are my God, and with a strong voice You spoke to Your servant in his interior ear, ... (XIII, 29)
Being “created in God’s image” means having reason (I don’t think I agree with this):
We see the face of the earth beautified with earthly creatures, and man, created after Your own image and likeness, who even through that very image and likeness, i.e., by the power of reason and understanding, is made superior to all non-rational creatures.